A Morning in the Life

One of the things I hear most often in my job as a Floor Supervisor at a nationally known grocery store is "You are always so pleasant and upbeat. You seem so happy to be here!" I always chuckle and tell them that, despite the completely inept management team, and getting yelled at on a regular basis for things that I have absolutely no control over, my 32-35 hours a week at work really are the easiest parts of my day. They laugh and I say, "No. Really. I'm serious." Let me give you a little glimpse into my world, just a typical morning in my life here with my 4 Littles.

Because we are homeschoolers, we have the luxury of relaxed and non-rushed mornings. I have four children 10 and under, and they each have their own, quirky sleep schedules and I totally embrace that. I am such a night owl myself, and always have been, that I understand that some people really are just not wired to get up and about at 7am. Thankfully the ten year old is the earliest riser, and that is usually a really good thing. He is the least mischievous of the bunch, and can be trusted to keep an eye on things until I get up, usually around 8-8:30am, especially if I have worked one of my two weekly 6pm-330am shifts. Sunday night was one of those long shifts, so the events depicted below are from Monday. Just a typical morning in the Gallaher Household.

8:15am - I wake up and stretch, trying to get motivated to drag myself out of bed, smelling my coffee ready and waiting for me. Yay. I need my fuel, since I have a very long, ambitious list of things that I want to get done this bright and glorious morning. I shoo the dog off my pillow and hair, where she thinks she is supposed to sleep after Sweet Hubby has gotten up and left for work. I open the bedroom door, and see my sweet Chaos sitting at the computer, playing Minecraft and eating a big slice of yogurt pie, made the day before.
"Good morning, Chaos. Why are you eating pie at 8:15 in the morning?"
"I told dad I was hungry before he left for work and he told me to get something to eat."
"Did he tell you to have a slice of pie for breakfast?"
"No."
"OK. Because I probably have not specifically said this before, I am saying it now: no pie for breakfast. Is there any left?"
"No. That's why I wanted to eat it now. So I would not have to share." This child is the most honest of the bunch.
"OK." I shake my head slightly and walk over to the counter where my coffee awaits.I get my Life is Good mug out, put in a splash of caramel vanilla creamer, grab the pot full of delicious, energy-giving liquid heaven and begin to pour. I get splashed in the hand by hot coffee as a dandelion and clover flower pour out of my freshly brewed coffee and into my mug.

"Chaos. Do you have any idea why there are weeds in my coffee?"
"Yes." Silence.
"Could you please explain?"
"Sure. Last night we were playing in the yard while Dad worked in his shop. Havoc picked you some flowers and wanted to save them for you. He couldn't reach the cups, so he got a chair and stuck them in the coffee pot. I told him NOT to push the buttons, though, since the timer was set "
"Great. Thanks. Next time, please just help him get a plastic cup to put them in."
"Ok."

I wash the coffee pot, empty the grounds, refill and turn it on again. No fancy Kuerig action here. I did the math to figure out how much it would cost me to brew the 6-7 cups of coffee I drink a day, and I will just say, there is no way I will be K Cupping anything any time in my near future. At least not until I hit that big Mega Millions jackpot. Kroger brand French Roast in a #4 cone filter for me, thank you very much. 

In about 15 minutes, just as I am sitting down to take my first sip of coffee and open my Bible to get a short reading in before the whole house is awake, I see Havoc begin to stir on the couch. He has a bedroom, and a bed, but refuses to sleep in it. And if he is taken in there during the night, noone gets sleep, since he is up and down every hour or so. I am not here 5 nights a week for bedtime, and Havoc settles right down and sleeps from 10pm til 830 or 9 am on the couch, so that is where Sweet Hubby lets him sleep. Works for us.

"Hold me."
"Good morning, Sugar! Do you want to sit with me while I read and have my coffee?"
"Hold me."
"I have a blankie and pillow right here. Why don't you snuggle up right beside me while I drink my coffee."
"HOLD ME. PEAS, MAMA!"
I hold my sweet Havoc, and try, unsuccessfully, to relax and sip my coffee. After ten minutes of feeling like I am wrestling an octopus, I decide to get up and get started on my day.

Just then, in walks Princess Sassy, sleepy and grumpy.
 "What time is it?" she grumbles.
"OUR TIME!!" screams Havoc. (This is the back and forth chant ManChild yells with the Little League team he helps coach, that Chaos and Mayhem play on. Havoc is kind of an honorary member.)
"NO. What time is it really?" Sassy asks.
"OUR TIME!!" screams Havoc.
"MOM! Make him stop! What TIME is it?"
"OUR TIME!!"
"Ok. Everyone stop, please! It is about 8:45, baby. Do you want some breakfast?"
"Yes. Can I have waffles?"
"Not this morning. Cereal or oatmeal with milk and sugar. Which would you like?"
"Coffee cake?"
"No. Would you like cereal or oatmeal?"
"I had pie for breakfast!" comes from the computer desk....
"WHAT?!?!? Why did he get pie??!! Can I have pie?"
"NO. He ate the last piece without permission. What do you want for breakfast?"
"You all are ruining my life!!" and she stomps her way upstairs to her room. Great. Good morning.

I throw a load of laundry into the washer, grab the wet load and get it going in the dryer, and head into my bedroom to fold the two loads waiting in the laundry bin. Havoc wants to help. If there is anything less fun than folding laundry on a Monday morning, it is trying to fold laundry with a four year old helper who simultaneously wants to jump on the bed. I work at it for about 10 minutes and abandon the pile for later in the day.

"Do we have a game tonight?" comes from the doorway.
"Good morning, Mayhem. How are you today?"
"Fine. Do we have a game today?"
"No. No game til Wednesday. Practice tomorrow. It is all on the calendar."
"I don't like calendars."
"Oh. OK. Do you want some breakfast?"
"Hey, Mayhem! Guess what I had for breakfast!!!"
"Chaos! Enough!"
And we go through round two of the pie for breakfast debacle. After assuring both Sassy and Mayhem they will get a treat of some kind while Chaos has none later in the week, and getting everyone fed, we settle down to get some math started. We get through 6 pages each with minimal struggle, and I am ready to start working on history.

We sit down and begin reading together. Except that Chaos has decided to take one of his educational detours and wants to talk more about ancient Egypt. Mayhem and Sassy are done with Egypt. Chaos has questions that I have no idea the answers to and that are not covered in either of the two texts we are using. Havoc wants to draw and can't find the crayons. He needs them RIGHT NOW!! I step away to find a new box. While I am gone, Mayhem and Chaos get into a heated debate as to who was smarter, Bilbo Baggins or Sam. Just as they get ready to break into fisticuffs, I come back in the room and decide we will work on reading. Everyone to their rooms, working on flash cards or reading books. I get more coffee. Havoc has broken 12 crayons in half to show me "I am VERY strong, mama!" and is now crying because all his crayons are broken. Sassy goes upstairs to get her crayon melting craft machine (worst Christmas gift EVER! We have only ourselves to blame for this one!) so she can make jewelry out of all the pieces of crayon. "And you wont be able to touch MY crayon rings, Havoc!" Sassy tells him. More tears, and they are off to the races, Havoc chasing Sassy, Sassy screaming, and the dog following behind and barking. I wait a minute or two, just to see what will happen, and call everyone back together.

"How about some outside time?Y'all head out back and play and I will get a few things done, then we will water the garden."

Great idea. Everyone is dressed and outside in ten minutes. I catch up the dishes, get 2 loads of laundry folded, and then wonder why they are so quiet and happy out there, noone running in and out. This is not normal. so I am sure they are up to something.

Ans they are. I look out onto the slate patio and find the four of them  huddled around a pile of pine tags and leaves, magnifying glass in hand and 4 water bottles nearby. I have 4 boys, I know what is happening here.  

I open the door and scare them all, as they are intent on their pyromaniac training.

"What are you trying to do?"
"Start a fire!" yells Havoc.
"Just a science experiment, mom!" chimes in Mayhem.
"With MY magnifying glass!" exclaims Sassy proudly.
"But we have water bottles here to be safe!" says the ever-cautious Chaos.

All before 11am. Just a regular old morning around here.